Cecilia Zhang

To any of you who have received forwarded email about this 9-year-old girl who has been missing since October 19, 2003... I have her latest news... & it isn't a good one. Her body was found last Saturday by a hiker. Her body was found slain at a nearby parking lot of a church. According to the coroner, she has been dead for at least a few months already. Who would have done such a cruel thing to a 9-year-old girl? I hope that person gets what he/she deserves.

My deepest sympathies & condolences to her parents. May God bless her soul.

For further information do not hesitate to read it at Toronto Star paper

Drown, Swim, Stuffy, Runny

First & foremost I would like to thank Milo & Pikey for the wishes of me to get well soon & I am well! Must those wishes… Hehehe… but I am still having this lump in my throat… wonder what it is. Must be the heat… Oh well, I am sure I would feel much better soon!

My nose is feeling stuff up now, no don’t get me wrong! My mom is frying luncheon meat for my eldest sister. All the smoke & oil smell is killing my nose… Even my room is filled with it… now where did my EXIT go? *Spray* Ahhh… this is much better.

I am finally going to Redang! I can’t wait! I am not excited because of the place but I am excited because I am going on a trip with my friends! That’s what makes me so excited! Other than that, I can’t wait to go on the trip to relax. Also I might be going to learn how to swim probably from next weekend. See how… Yeah, I do not know how to swim. How depressing… Hehehe… In fact I actually sort of have a phobia to water… I still remember I was about 6-7 years old, went to Port Dickson with my family. Went playing water on my own & with the strong wave knocking me down, I was stuck under water! I was screaming for help, kicking & waving but no body came to my rescue. I was thinking then “No one helping! Am I going to die in here?” then suddenly something pop into mind. I recalled my brother (or was it my dad) saying if I am push down into the water by the strong current, do not panic, relax & I will soon float up then I can save myself. With that in mind, it worked! I was saved & I am alive! Ever since then I was very afraid of being under the water especially when someone pull me down under the water. Oh well, but now I am going to calm my fear & go swimming! With me going to a lot of island lately, I want to be able to swim so I can go snorkeling & see all the wonderful things we can’t see from above water. I can’t wait to know how to swim! Woohoo!

Anyway, I got to go. All that smoke has made my nose stuffy & runny too. Great… Anyway, I haven’t clean up yet since returning from work… Hehehe… :P

*Silence*

Been sick… still sick… my throat feels sore & I don’t know why it is extremely itchy & I keep coughing. There’s a lump in my throat, I hope I do not need operation for it. *silence*

Was very excited to go to Redang on June 2004, everything was all planned… but then a friend has financial problem so the trip is cancelled. It has caused another to be really pissed & due to this matter, she decided to end our friendship. I don’t know what to say. It is necessary? I have messaged the mad one a lot but she doesn’t want to reply. Couldn’t there be a solution? It is anyone’s fault? Why am I even writing this? I shouldn’t be blogging such thing… should I?

I don’t know what I am feeling now. Sad, angry or fine with it… Sigh… Wish I know. Then at least I wouldn’t be feeling hung up like this.

Throat hurts. Trying very hard not to cough… hope I get well soon… *silence*

Sleep!

Couldn’t sleep… feel so very restless… came online… to see if there’s anyone for me to chat with… unfortunately at this kind of hour who would be awake? So decided to do some blogging, but I don’t know what to blog. Great! Been sick yesterday, High fever… was burning until I thought my brains were frying. My boyfriend came to send me to a doctor. Gave me medicine & MC for Friday, ate so much medicine made my taste buds only can taste bitterness. Arrgghh! Right now still having slight fever supposed to be getting rest but I just can’t sleep. Sigh…

Lucky Ball or Gamble?

While I am typing this, my boyfriend should be playing Lucky Ball again… Yes playing again. Yesterday he played & lost, today he is playing again. What so nice about playing Lucky Ball? Until today I don’t understand it. I even have a friend who is always borrowing money from people & loves Lucky Ball. The funny part is if he has money for Lucky Ball, why does he always borrow money & not return to people? Is it the Lucky Ball game that they are addicted to or the Gambling? All right I think I better end here. My headache is killing me. I have been having this headache since just now at 8pm. This is far worse then the one I had yesterday. Not a very good sign…

Election! Vote vote!

It has been a few days now since I blog. I honestly don’t know what to say… But well, BN won most of the states votes! Woohoo! They even manage to take over Terengganu’s trust in them. I van finally go to Redang in Peace… Hehehe… I am planning to go to Redang this year & if PAS & BN have a war going on there, I would have to miss out this trip there. Sigh… then I mar very sad lor. I know tough with PAS back then as the Government body, a lot of people were able to go to Redang as well. But just imagine if they have a close war, then PAS would want some recount or make chaos, then mar no more fun lor? Thank God!

Oh well, actually do I have the right to comment on this election thing? I did not even vote… I registered last month & I have to wait for the next 5 years before I can make my first voting. Wah then I will be 28 years old. Sudah Tua ar!

I actually have a colleague that doesn’t bother voting at all. I asked him today so did he vote. He answered, “Why bother? Go vote some more need to queue so long. Worst would be under the sun. I stay home sleep better?”
What kind of people is this? Do not care for their country or state… Mana boleh panggil anak Malaysia? Am I right or wrong? You tell me… then he brave brave say, “Aiya, less my one vote wouldn’t die one.” Gosh! That time I betul betul want to strangle him already. What kind of thinking is this? If everyone thinks like him, we are a dead country.

Today at the office I kena rasuah by BN supporter. Hehehe… I was given a fan with the BN sign on it. Boleh guna masa tak ada elektrik. So I told my colleagues, kena rasuah already means next election must vote for BN already lor… Hahaha…

SORRY

Yeah I now have realized it was after all my fault. The previous entry was an anger reviewed. After lots of hours & tears streaming down like a river, I noticed it was after all my fault. I hid from him about the tone thing. I did not like his tone, I should have told him & not expect him to know. How could I be so immature? Sorry for everything, Marcus. Sorry for ruining your night to join your colleagues for dinner. Worse is for putting you in a situation on how to explain to your colleagues of my absence. SORRY…

I have realized that I am actually a very bad tempered person, stubborn… with BIG attitude problem. Because of this I sometimes think that I do not deserve Marcus loving me so much. I decided to starve myself to punish myself for what I have done. Also I got another punishment. I have a splinter stuck in my right hand fourth finger & it wouldn't come out no matter how I use a needle to poke at it or make a big hole in my finger. I am just going to leave it there for it to rot. It is a sign.

Hope God would forgive me for this sin I have done. Again I am sorry. In fact I am sorry to my mom because she saw me crying & I am sure she must have been worried sick. I am sorry mom for making you worry for me.

Of course I would also like to apologize to Marcus’ colleagues. Sorry for making Marcus absent from the dinner & sorry for not being there. I hope I did not ruin any of you people’s evening.

I have ruined a lot of peoples evening/night already. I am absolutely sorry for ruining you people’s evening/night. I do not ask you for forgiveness because I know I have done much of a mess to get forgiveness. Let’s hope tomorrow would be a better day for me because today was a day that wasn’t meant bad to happen to anyone else but me.

Last & but not least, I AM REALLY VERY SORRY!

What a Day?

Supposedly today I am to go to a dinner with Marcus & his colleagues. But after a lot of coming & going I am here at home now. In the afternoon, he told me to go to the bank to take RM100 for him & asked if I could take the cab to Kepong after work. So I told him why not he comes over to pick me up then drive me to the bank. He told me in a tone that we will be late that way if he does that. Then he added that his colleagues & he has made a deal to wait somewhere because he doesn’t know the way to Tanjung Gila. Then I told him since it is like this I don’t want to go. Such trouble why bother. Then he said, “You like. Is your choice, I cannot force you to go.” Then awhile later he messaged me saying that he will come earlier to pick me up & go to the bank. I replied, “Don’t need. You go have fun with your colleagues. Come pick me up so troublesome. Go through jam, some more you don’t know how to go there. You leave for Klang from Kepong with them easier.” Then he replied, “Just be ready by the time I reach.” I sent a last message “Don’t need. You go have fun with your colleagues.”
Just now at 5plus he called me saying that he would be coming over. I told him don’t need because so troublesome. Then he said, “Just get ready.” He hung up. I came home & bathe. Hoping he would apologize for speaking to me in that tone this afternoon. He called me twice & I did not answer his call. I don’t want to answer. I am mad. I want to make him come in. He did! Then he went out back to his car. I went to the car & he asked me, “What?” I asked him, “What are you doing here?”
“Just dropped by only…”
Silence…
Then he asked, “Just got home?”
I asked him, “Are you coming in?”
“Go in for what? You go in. Come out for what?”
I kept quiet getting really pissed. He doesn’t want to say go to Klang for dinner or apologize for he’s tone (as usual). Then I walked into the house & came up to my room. Feeling pissed I thought okay lets him another chance. I got ready & then went to restroom & while there I checked if he’s still there. He has left. I sent him a message saying “You are gone. Hope you have fun with your colleagues.”
He replied, “I am not going anywhere. I messaged them saying I am not going anymore. FFK them as usual. Hate me. Hahaha…”
I asked him why he did that for. Now his colleagues will think I am the bad one asking him not to go. Why is he like this? Why is he always like this? Why would he have such attitude? I thought he has changed?
Now he said he did not go because I am not going & he has no mood to go also. Then he sent me another message saying that he did not go because they are expecting me & I am not going & that he doesn’t know what to tell them if he sees them… It’s my fault now…just received another message from him saying that I hid from him when he ask me what is wrong. The funny thing is he never asked me! Now we are taking faults. I guess it was my fault for not telling him that he hurt me with that tone. But would it make a difference? Last time he is like this, today he is like this.
This is so frustrating! Now I can’t get online! What is wrong? My usual online access could go through & I have to Marcus’. This isn’t a good day it is? I woke up this morning having my menses seeping through my shorts & on to my bed. It was 6am in the morning & I had to clean myself, my clothes & my bed. Already it started bad then this have to come along! Is today a bad for me?
I came home early, having a bad cramp got ready to go out with him if he apologizes. But now I am stuck at home, crying… with no dinner. Thank you for a great day. Let’s hope nothing else come along like a gastric. But if it does, who is there to blame but me? It was after all my fault for not telling him what’s wrong. It would be a punishment…Good night!

*Was I being harsh? Was I being pathetic & not understanding?*

Space Boy

Let's have some high speed song! Woohoo.. but please do not listen to this song & read my blog while driving... :P

*Sniffles*

My necklace BROKE! Wuaarrgghhh! *sniffles* it all happened when I came out of the shower & was putting on my clothes. When I am wearing my T-shirt, my finger accidentally pulled the necklace & it broke! Wuaarrgghhh! I have been breaking necklaces around my neck… :( Sigh… Oh well, tomorrow go get new one lor… there’s go more money… Good night!

Work... HELL!

Sigh… with the E form dateline coming soon; I am being rushed to work like a bee. The worse part of this is at 3 months I was asked to do this, do that & rush this today… I never have the time to get to the E form. Finally when the dateline is nearing they push me to do this. But that isn’t enough… they just can’t see me take a very short break. I mean a VERY short break. They will just have to give me something to do. Why is this happening? Well, let me tell you why. I am working in a company filled with FAMILY MEMBERS! I am sure you all know what it means right? If you guess hell… Yeah you are absolutely right!

They are always right, the outsiders are always wrong. They are always free; the outsiders are always busy… why? Because they always give us their job to do… they can chat all the way while we work like a cow at their jobs. Their people can even backstab us at things we didn’t do. Funny! But yet my boss who says he is a very fair person, who doesn’t side his family or anyone… believes his most trusted Administration who is also his sister-in-law 110%. What could we do? Nothing… When she was only an Administrator, it was already bad enough… now she has been promoted to DIRECTOR of the company. Yes you read that right! DIRECTOR! Now it is going to be far worse. She can fired anyone without confirmation/approval/informing the boss. May God help me…

I am planning to leave soon. Just waiting for the right job to come to me now. Then I am so going to leave all the work dangling like a corpse on a rope tied around the neck hanging from the ceiling fan. Let them settle the situation. Also I am going to take away every improvement I have done there. I am bringing it with me. Hahaha… Let them have a whirlwind headache when they try to settle the work of mine. I am sure they can handle it. They are professionals… Hahaha… my foot… all uneducated! Nothing higher than a diploma… I wish them best of luck!

All right, I have to get what I need done… then I need to bathe & I still need to get to work. Yup! I brought my work home today. If it isn’t because of the innocents, I wouldn’t have been so hardworking… :P~ I need to finish my E form so the other people can submit their J form. Till next time… Toodle Lu!

Faery... Blessed with Faery wings! Hahaha...

This one sound more true.. the results are quite true... try it out & tell me what you think...


You are blessed with FAERY wings. Beauty,
laughter, life, magic...that's what you are all
about. You are refreshingly innocent and happy
with your life of purity and play. Life's a
game and it's a good one. In your eyes there's
no way to lose! You can be very mischeivous and
have been known to cause trouble, but it's all
in the name of fun and not meant to really harm
anyone. You like to play tricks on people who
aren't quite as bright or clever as you - which
is almost everyone. Nature is the setting you
prefer to be in - Always. Barefoot and wild you
can't be tamed. You're probably a restless
spirit who loves to travel, and quite a
dreamer. Your creativity is astounding and your
art (of whatever media - from writing to
painting to drama) is like something from
another world - ethereal and often very
fantasy-oriented. You can either be a social
butterfly or a loner with their head in the
clouds - but rarely inbetween. You stubbornly
refuse to accept responsibility or to give in
to the wishes of others - unless you feel like
it. You have a strong passion for music and
can't imagine life without it. You'll grow up
someday, but you'll always be a child at heart.
You are adventurous and love to take risks, and
feel a deep connection with the weather,
plants, and animals. You prefer sunshine to
thunder or snow, the warmth of summer to
autumn's chill, and quiet forests to suburban
backyards. Magic through and through, you are
far more powerful than you seem, and are
capable of being extremely passionate. Though
you can be childish, naive, stubborn, and
self-absorbed, one thing is certain - life with
you will never be boring!


*~*~*Claim Your Wings - Pics and Long Answers*~*~*
brought to you by Quizilla

Try it out

Is this true?


Waaah! You're so LOVABLE! Everybody likes you,
because you're a great person to have around
and it's always happy about everything ^^.
congrats! and...can I hug you?? plz! ^///^


Yet another personality test ^-^ (nice anime pics!) NEW outcome!!
brought to you by Quizilla

Laughs

Is it me? Or it is really that nobody reads my blog? Hmmm...
Anyway, here is something for laughs...
(Contributed by my Adeline mui, who sent me this email containing this laughs)


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Treasure

Life has its beginning, it has an ending. Everyone goes through that no matter what age, size or gender. Tell me are you afraid to die? Honestly, I am afraid… I am still young & there’s so much I have yet to see & do. I still want to Bungee Jump, Sky Diving, Mountain Climbing & lot more of this from where it came from. But if I were to be old & unhealthy, I honestly would say that I would rather be gone. Of course I hope by then I have done what I want & my life would be good. But then when I am old I don’t want to trouble my family members to look after me in any way at all. Don’t you think so? If I am healthy then that is a different case. But what if I am old, incapable of eating on my own, taking care of myself, even to the restroom I need help… I wish I were gone.

Also, if I am dead I rather not have people crying for me for time duration. I feel that Death isn’t sad but in fact it is something normal that everyone alive has to go through. In fact, crying wouldn’t bring the dead back alive, so is it worth all the tears & pain to cry for someone who is already dead?
But then again, I guess we are all natural human beings to have emotions that cannot be control. Like in my past entry, my friend passed away & I cried my eyes out. I guess saying all the above is stupid huh?

Anyhow, shouldn’t we treasure those around us while we can? I did not really appreciate the late Erwin until it was too late. I have learned from my past & that was a lesson to learn. Today I appreciate every friend of mine & of course I try not to make any enemies in anyway at all. So please do treasure anyone at all in your life. You will never know when they would be gone & never coming back. Love someone; go tell them that you love him/her. Not to forget your parents, your siblings & friends.

Today, I am going to tell all of you that I treasure you all & that I appreciate you all for whatever you all have done. I LOVE YOU ALL! MAY GOD BLESS ALL OF YOU… Take care!

Another Tired Day

What a hectic day? Today my office has a seminar going on, with me the kulikang of the office; I am needed to prepare food for their tea break, make coffee & the worse part, the seminar wasn’t in the same building! It was at the building opposite of my office. That building is also ours & walking back & forth… in & out is not much of a relax day. My feet hurt because of all the walking in my high heel. There is another bad thing to it. My office table is upstairs! Walking up & down the stairs. My poor leg… :(

Then in the evening I went to Carrefour. I needed to buy the pouffe for my mom to put her leg on. Looking at her put her leg on the table so susah. Put high high then later numb pulak. So buy the pouffe for her to put leg low low don’t need to put on table. She don’t put on table also good, I can finally eat at the living room table. :P

Then I got new slippers, I also got a present for a friend whose birthday is coming soon. I got my eldest sister a present too. I got her a Ralph Lauren eau de parfum from Parkson Grand. Or was that eau de toilet. Alamak don’t remember. Sudah warapped up already tak nampak pulak. Hehehe… I planned to get a G-resistant discman. I saw in Carrefour. Selling at RM370. Mahalnya… Oh well, now to wait for me to save money then only get it. Or maybe you all can get me for my birthday gift… Hint hint!
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Just found out that my boyfriend’s grandmother passed away. I give my condolences to his family & him. I am also sorry that I cannot help make things better for him… I couldn’t think of much but to leave him alone. I am also sorry that I could not be there for him now. I hope he understands that I am incapable of going over to his place at such hours. Anyway, even if I could, I don’t think I should not be disturbing him or his family. I am after all an outsider & that is after all their family matter. I shall pray for his grandmother today that she will be always happy at where she is now. May God bless her soul.