Wow. I woke up this morning to a dream I never thought I would have again. It isn’t the same but it is of the same male colleague of mine whom I used to have a crush on him, similar thing that has happen in the previous dream I had of him. I think the last time I had a dream about him was 1 or 2 years ago.
Well, I am not sure how it started or even the full details of it. The dream started with him looking at me in a funny way (more like in the “I am going to say something to you” way). He walked up to me, and whispered to me “I love you… I always did. Would you be my girlfriend?” Usually in this situation I would have rejected him because well, I remember telling him once I have a crush on him (not in my dream… in real life) and he rejected me by saying “Damn it, I think I will be a Vegetarian” in Cantonese which means not have sex
… Yea I am surprise too hahaha… I wondered why he said that 
. As if he always lust over me. Anyway back to the dream; suddenly the scene skipped… already I am his girlfriend, being all lovey dovey with him. He is really sweet for a boyfriend… which I doubt because no way it would be like him at all 
. The whole dream went on such as this… Then I woke up in shocked when he was about to kiss me.
What is going on? What is my subconscious trying to tell me? It just so isn’t right…
My mood is so bad now… I got accused for showing temper just now by my brother just about 1hour ago… I spoke to him; eventually I have to admit it was my mistake to be showing my own frustration in front of family members. They get the wrong idea. Then again, I shouldn’t be showing frustration in front of anyone at all. They will misunderstand and think I am showing it to them. So yea, my brother is right… I always thought it was not wrong to let family see my emotions. Aren’t they the closest people and wouldn’t they be the one comforting me? I don’t know… to me right now after the argument with my brother and mom, I am thinking of not showing any emotions in front of them anymore or anyone else. It isn’t right according to my brother. Who will I turn to when I need a crying shoulder then? I never open up to my family before, and only recently I thought it wasn’t wrong to do so with my emotions… I guess that incident earlier just proof me wrong
.
I am still immature… still a child in my head… stuck in my very own world that I am not ready to leave. I keep all my emotions to myself; I am never letting it go anymore. I never talk to my family… I never tell them why I am always in my room in front of my computer; what’s there to tell when I am in here because they did this to me? In the end they will just start scolding me again. I seriously see no point of my life anymore… I am always making mistakes, I never get anything right, I am the most unsuccessful one in my family; I am just useless, worthless
…
Sighs, I lost my whole happy day…There's nobody to turn to anymore when I am in need of comfort... I have cried till my eyes are swollen, I am just going to go sleep. Sorry for all the rambles. 
Well, I am not sure how it started or even the full details of it. The dream started with him looking at me in a funny way (more like in the “I am going to say something to you” way). He walked up to me, and whispered to me “I love you… I always did. Would you be my girlfriend?” Usually in this situation I would have rejected him because well, I remember telling him once I have a crush on him (not in my dream… in real life) and he rejected me by saying “Damn it, I think I will be a Vegetarian” in Cantonese which means not have sex
… Yea I am surprise too hahaha… I wondered why he said that . As if he always lust over me. Anyway back to the dream; suddenly the scene skipped… already I am his girlfriend, being all lovey dovey with him. He is really sweet for a boyfriend… which I doubt because no way it would be like him at all . The whole dream went on such as this… Then I woke up in shocked when he was about to kiss me.What is going on? What is my subconscious trying to tell me? It just so isn’t right
…My mood is so bad now… I got accused for showing temper just now by my brother just about 1hour ago… I spoke to him; eventually I have to admit it was my mistake to be showing my own frustration in front of family members. They get the wrong idea. Then again, I shouldn’t be showing frustration in front of anyone at all. They will misunderstand and think I am showing it to them. So yea, my brother is right… I always thought it was not wrong to let family see my emotions. Aren’t they the closest people and wouldn’t they be the one comforting me? I don’t know… to me right now after the argument with my brother and mom, I am thinking of not showing any emotions in front of them anymore or anyone else. It isn’t right according to my brother. Who will I turn to when I need a crying shoulder then? I never open up to my family before, and only recently I thought it wasn’t wrong to do so with my emotions… I guess that incident earlier just proof me wrong
.I am still immature… still a child in my head… stuck in my very own world that I am not ready to leave. I keep all my emotions to myself; I am never letting it go anymore. I never talk to my family… I never tell them why I am always in my room in front of my computer; what’s there to tell when I am in here because they did this to me? In the end they will just start scolding me again. I seriously see no point of my life anymore… I am always making mistakes, I never get anything right, I am the most unsuccessful one in my family; I am just useless, worthless
…Sighs, I lost my whole happy day
…There's nobody to turn to anymore when I am in need of comfort... I have cried till my eyes are swollen, I am just going to go sleep. Sorry for all the rambles. 
DJ Tiesto ~ Summer Jam
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