My whole body is aching~
- 23rd Jul 2014

Monday, July 24, 2006

Upset

Just gonna blog about my previous weekend when I went to a high school mate’s baby girl full moon celebration. I don’t know if I could say it was a disaster or something that made feel all uncomfortable.

Those whom of my high school mates I met during that evening are mostly all successful… Well, degree holders with great jobs… Though I wouldn’t say anyone are bosses except for the host running his own business and of course hostess being a happy housewife in my point of view of course. Anyway that isn’t the problem… it all boils down to me. After meeting them high school mates, I felt so useless. I am the only one who doesn’t have a car, the only one who is still a high school graduate, the only one who daren’t talk about what I am doing for the past 6 years. It was a total humiliation. Though that is what I think… But it isn’t like I have a choice; financial never approves me to go further my studies. When they spoke of jobs and career… I was all quiet .

I knew going to a high school reunion thing would make me feel like this because a lot of them are from families whom can support them to further their studies. 99% of my high school mates are from well off families. Especially those I am close to. This whole reunion thing really got me off my mood.
But I ought to be thankful, it has wakened me up to what type most of those people I call friends are. I wouldn’t say what exactly happen but I would just say Thank God for showing me the other side of those whom I have not seen in the past.

Well, that reunion got me upset throughout my week. Nothing has perked me up .

I am ready to buck up now. I am also ready to lose friends that were never a friend. To look at it, it seems like I am going to lose a lot of people. But I believe that, we don’t make a lot of friends in one day, but we make a friend in a lot years.

I don’t seem to be able to keep my friendship very well lately, I seem to like have this very ill intention to throw everyone away at every opportunity I can. Could it be because I am bored of my circle of friends? Or it is because I have finally seen that all these times, my circle of friends are lies and that I have been lied to too many times? I really don’t know… I wish I knew…

Hoobastank ~ If I Were You

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